Posted by: theislamicist | November 1, 2007

The End: Let this learn us all.

The dictionary definition of ‘spin’ is

1) turning around

2) weaving

3) changing the story

It is a very apt word for what I was feeling at the time. I needed a change, and where could my talents be put to use? I could argue a case where none really existed, browbeat opponents using obfuscatory themes, and present a case where none really existed. Where could I use these talents? As a moral person, I could not stoop to the depths of the legal profession, as I still had a conscience. Other Islamicists had become security experts, New Labour activists and writers. I realised I had to put my talents to the service of a higher calling. I joined the Coutryside Alliance.

Where once I proclaimed the ideals of an Islamicist Superstate, I could now speak about ‘traditional Countryside sports’. When I once spoke about injustice in Muslim Lands, I now spoke about ‘protecting Rural Livelihoods’. The useful thing was that my speeches against dictatorships in the Middle East were dusted off and re-used, simply replacing ‘Oppressive Western Powers’ with ‘Draconian and knee-jerk destruction of rural ways by an out-of-touch Government’.

My Hizb colleagues reacted with extreme and violent indifference. My home was not targeted, and the only threatening thing posted through my letterbox was a rather garish Eid Card from brother Chicken and Chips. I had become persona non-grata, but in secret I was rather glad as I quite liked my new horse-riding friends. I moved to the countryside, to be nearer the foxes and badgers. I married Taqwa, and we have a baby boy called Genghis, in honour of the first real Islamicist, and keen lover of horses.

Since the 7/7, the Iraq war and other countless incidents, I have kept quiet. My ex-colleagues (ex-tremists?) have made a nice career promoting themselves. Unlike them, I take paypal. I have realised my story is just as unique, and now is the right time to speak. This was my story, and I hope you re-read it to your children to warn of what could happen if they don’t listen to you.

Previous: How Harry Potter led to my leaving the Hizb

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Responses

  1. The end? that’s it? you ended so quick!

    Well enjoyed the last couple of posts. Do you aim to publish it? Will we ever get to know who you are? Or maybe we do…?

  2. […] Next: The End: Let this learn us all. […]

  3. Publish!

    Have you spoken to these people:

    http://www.thefridayproject.co.uk/

    They’ve done spin off books from web projects for quite a few people I know.

    Get moving quickly and hit the Xmas market!

  4. Your blog is absolutely hilarious!

    I hope that you continue your series, and although the humour was unique and unmatched to what we have around… it would be nice to hear your story without the (excessive) use of symbols perhaps on another blog!

    A fantastic piece of writing none the less and I hope you win in the brasscrescent awards!!

  5. You know this is not funny – this strange obsession with Hizb-ut-Tahrir is really deceiving. The fact is this – the author is just as dangerous to Islam as Hizb-ut-Tahrir is. The author, and similar people to him, are engaged in little more than an ideological struggle with Hizb-ut-Tahrir (and others) to control the reification and essentialisation of what Islam is and is not etc. Just because the author et al. has (temporarily) gained and occupied the ‘centre-ground’ in this discourse over Islam (i.e. to define Islam/Muslims and castigate rival hegemonic or alternative subaltern interpretations of Islam), doesn’t mean the author is any better than Hizb-ut-Tahrir. The ironic thing is this: both the author and his seemingly arch-nemesis, Hizb-ut-Tahrir, both share the same textualised and literalist (recent) Islam. At a pragmatic level they may seem divergent and somewhat oppositional (as the Islamicist’s Weblog adeptly demonstrates). But, at a semantic level, in terms of form, they are effectively one and the same. The Islamicist’s Weblog, advertently or unwittingly, obfuscates this process so well. It achieves what it sets out to achieve: that the author’s understanding and projection of Islam is authoritative and not open to dispute. In this sense, Hizb-ut-Tahrir, in the manner that the author reflexively portrays them, is little more than a creation of his pen/keyboard. At best, The Islamicist’s Weblog represents self-aggrandisement as its worst. Both satirically and ideologically, The Islamicist’s Weblog is banal. Just another right-wing fundo beating another group of right-wing fundos on the head. I’m sick of this rubbish. My religion has been stolen by the likes of both the author of The Islamicist’s Weblog and Hizb-ut-Tahrir (and of course, not forgetting the Salafis and Deobandis). We shouldn’t quietly, passively accept the narration that The Islamicist’s Weblog attempts to present. Just because the author call himself the ‘good guy’ doesn’t mean it’s so.

  6. Paul/Ali
    Aloha/Salaams

    I totally agree!

  7. lol at Ali’s comment

    Have a break. Have a KitKat


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