Slogans to remember I

• A woman’s place is in the home. A man’s place is ten paces ahead of the woman. Hence, a man’s place is usually in the hallway, or front yard.

• Actions speak louder than words. However, loud words do have their place, especially if delivered with synchronised arm-waving. Asynchronous arm-waving is also allowed, but only with a rotating hip-movement.

• After a storm comes a calm. That is the time to point out that the storm took place because of the inherent corruption of puppet governments.

• All good things must come to an end. All bad things may come to an end also, we hope. Otherwise what’s the point?

• All is well that ends well. All that is not well is destined to end in annihilation and abasement. Abasement is a good word and should be used in its proper context, meaning being humiliated. Incorrect use would be ‘We had our meetings in abasement, it was good for our nafs, but it was damp’

• All that glitters is not gold. However, all that is gold does glitter though. If it doesn’t, a drop of lemon juice, some newspaper and a five minute buff will bring it out in a beautiful shine.

• As you sow, so shall you reap. So sow the seeds of dissent, to reap the fruits of dissent. Again, this might not be immediately apparent, so you may have to complement your seed sowing with the “three ‘p’s”, a protest, a petition and press release.

• Beauty is only skin-deep. Thankfully, with the advent of Muslim fashion, that skin can be conveniently hidden under layers of silk, chiffon and those funky Palestinian scarves.

• Better be safe than sorry. Also, better to deny any previous comments you may have made that contradict what you have just said. The logical impasse is a useful tool, but only if obfuscated with jargon.

• Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know. There are many devils to be observant of, including junk mail, a most pernicious devil indeed.

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